While there’s not a “right” way to mourn and rebuild, one effective method is to write down our thoughts and feelings. Journaling can be a safe avenue for expressing our anger, admitting our fears, and working through our pain. The act of putting words on paper or on our computer can help us identify and process the various grief responses that may be churning inside us. In black and white, they generally become more manageable and productive.
In addition to helping harness the power of thoughts and feelings, writing can be a means of contemplating our future. We can brainstorm options for rebuilding our life. Does our loss necessitate a job change or move? We can list the possibilities. If we’ve been caring for a loved one, which interests or relationships have we put on hold? Do we want to revisit any past hobbies or endeavors? Which new interests could we pursue? Perhaps we’d like to learn a new language, try oil painting, or run in a 5K.
Another healing strategy is writing a letter to the deceased. Even though we cannot send it to them, the act of conveying any regrets, anger, longing, and other responses to loss can bring healing in our own life. If our relationship ended with unfinished business, we can apologize for our actions and express forgiveness for wrongs we suffered. In addition, we may find it freeing to share our plans for reinvesting in life, including our hesitations as well as our hopes. Of course, letters also can be a way to thank them for cherished memories and articulate the love that still fills our heart.
Whether we keep our written expressions private; disclose them to someone we trust; or read them to God, the act of writing down our thoughts, feelings, and options for the future can promote healing. Doing so can be a constructive step toward rebuilding our life without our loved one.
Today’s Dose of Comfort
If you have not already done so, consider buying an attractive journal in which to write your thoughts, feelings, and hopes for your future, or start a confidential computer file. Later you may want to share some or all of what you write but, for now, keep it private so you can write freely, without fear of being criticized or misunderstood. If anything you write alarms you, however, or if you feel overwhelmed with emotion or troubling thoughts, reach out to a friend, pastor, or professional counselor.
Excerpted from Doses of Comfort, available in print and Kindle at Amazon.com